This article is adapted and was originally published by Matthew Watson with The Well Community Church in San Antonio, TX, and is used under a CC BY-SA 4.0 license.

If you have never experienced family worship before, you may not be doing it now. That's ok; it is never too late to start. Do not worry about doing it perfectly or that your kids do not have the whole Westminster Shorter Catechism memorized yet. Just start. Here are some recommendations on how to conduct family worship starting today.

Gather often and regularly

There is a rhythm to family worship. It is not occasional, but a frequent and regular activity. The Puritans had family worship twice a day in the mornings and evenings. That's great, but that also may be a high bar for people to meet and to keep doing, at least to start. Daily is a good goal, but if that is difficult to do and keep doing at first, then do it as often as you can (but at least once a week is a good place to start). In his book Family Worship, seminary professor Donald Whitney suggests that these gathered times with our families should be brief (rather than long and tedious), regular, flexible, and adaptable (Whitney 2016, 50).

For example, there may be times when the family is not able to meet at their prescribed time. The head of the household should plan and find a time when the family can meet, perhaps if not in the evenings after dinner, then during dinner, or in the mornings before work and school. As with every discipline that we want to become a habit, if you aren’t intentional with them, then you won't do them. It needs to be cultivated and fought for. It will require work overtime to become consistent, and that is ok!

Read the Bible

This is the first and primary thing that should be done during family worship. Read a chapter, a passage, or a story Bible for kids, whatever works best for the season you are in and the comprehension level of your kids. Discuss what you are reading together, and explain it so that it is clear. Currently with my two-year-old, I read a story from The Beginner's Gospel Story Bible. When he gets older, I will advance to the regular Gospel Story Bible. And when he gets older still, he will join my wife and me in reading from our adult Bibles. 

We have also started reading one chapter from our “adult” Bibles at dinner every night, then we discuss it using the Family Worship Bible Guide (see below). My toddler interrupts and doesn’t know exactly what I’m asking, but he is learning that (1) this is a thing that happens when we eat as a family, and (2) he shouldn’t talk when we are. He is learning discipline through an everyday rhythm. Over time he'll get more and can participate more. Additionally, my wife and I end up having great discussions, which pours over to our time in our church community group. Whatever you do, do what works best for you to be consistent. 

Pray together

Men should be praying for their wives (even future wives) and women for their husbands. Parents should be praying for and with their children. But do not forget to include the kids in prayer time because God loves childlike faith (Matt 18:3). At first, you will need to guide the children by telling them what to pray for. They will repeat what you say, and eventually, they will have their own prayers to say. But you must teach them how. 

With my child, I say a basic prayer of thanksgiving, followed by praying for family members, and ultimately a plea that God help us love him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Deut 6:4-9; Mark 12:28-34). We then ask our son who he wants to pray for (and he always picks his grandad), and then we help him do that. 

With my wife, I will often pray through the passage we just read together, praising God for the promises he has made in his Word. Praying through a Psalm is a great place to start if you have not prayed through Scripture before.

Sing

My family can attest that I am not very good at singing. Thankfully, my two-year-old doesn't care, and neither does God, so I can either recite or sing a hymn or psalm without too much embarrassment. Create a Spotify playlist of your favorite worship songs. Get a hymnal (ask first, but they are often free at your church), and read or sing through it every night. I earmarked my favorite hymns in a hymnal, which includes the Psalter, and each night I sing or read one aloud. Sing a new one each day or sing the same one for a week so the family learns it. 

When I was single I used to try and play the song on my guitar and sing privately in my room. Now I either sing boldly with my wife when I know the song or else giggle with her when I am messing up the melody. Either way, sing.

Catechize

The evangelical world tends to view catechisms with suspicion because they feel too rigid or something those kinds of churches do. However, the word catechize means “to teach” in Greek, and it is simply teaching the doctrines of the Bible through a question-and-answer format. Our historical catechisms, confessions, and creeds were just early systematic theologies and were studied seriously by the church fathers, Reformers, and Puritans. Catechisms, creeds, and confessions do not replace the Bible; they point us to the Bible and expound its meaning.

Many evangelical churches use New City Catechism, which has 52 questions to go over each week throughout the year. The children’s version of the catechism has a song to help memorize the question and answer, so you can sing that each night as well. 

You should also consider the Westminster Shorter Catechism (or longer if that is your jam), the Heidelberg Catechism, or another historical catechism from your denomination’s history. There are some artists out there that have put these to music as well if that helps you. This one is my favorite.

What if I am …

An empty-nester? If married, carry on with your spouse doing this as often as you can, if not daily then weekly. If single, then you continue to worship God by being in community with him through the Word, prayer, and meditation in your private devotions.

A single mom/parent? Single moms are the strongest of all of us due to their fortitude. By God’s providence, there may not be a spouse or parent in the picture, therefore, you are the primary disciple-maker. Until God says otherwise, that role is your role. My mother was a single mom for three years, and we listened to records and tapes of Bible songs for kids and read a story Bible together.

A single man or woman? Prepare for the future by doing the work now. Whether you get married or not, you are a child of God, the sibling of Christ, and thus should be in regular communion with him. You can still read daily, pray daily, sing hymns to yourself or along with music, and memorize catechism questions on your own.

A foster parent? Yes, you can and should teach even those children placed temporarily in your care! Our families are missionaries to children in the system. We trust that God will make sure the time they are in your home is not wasted!

Remember, it is never too late to start. Start small, and adapt as needed. Trust that God will use this time to make disciples of your children, and yourselves.

Further Resources

Podcasts: 

• Dr. Joel Beeke on Family Worship

Books:

If you are the sort that wants to dive into a book, then these are my top three recommendations for you. 

• Don Whitney, Family Worship

• Joel Beeke, Family Worship Bible Guide

• Matthew Henry, A Church in the House

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